I have uttered the title phrase, "Your dress is not a napkin" to my daughter who apparently thinks the opposite, as she wipes her mouth on her sleeve, or her hem, more times than I can count. As you can see by the fact that I've had to repeat it, oh, a bazillion times, it is not particularly effective - at least no more effective than saying stop. But it amuses me. And that's what this blog is about. Amusing myself so that when the kids are kvetching (that's Yiddish for whining), it doesn't drive me crazy - or at least drives me less crazy.
Sometimes it amuses the kids too... and, on a really good day, gets them to stop whatever annoying behavior or misbehavior they are engaging in. But that's an incidental benefit. The real benefit is to me.
Of course, my children give me plenty of naches too (yup, that's Yiddish again, for a not-quite translatable mixture of pride and joy) but who wants to hear about that? You want someone to commiserate with, right? I know I do.
How do you amuse yourself while disciplining your kids?